The following thread appeared on one of my Mommy listserves. I was going to bite my tongue and not reply, but after reading about Juice Plus, I couldn't resist the urge to chime in. Below the thread is my reply.
---- Melissa wrote:
Melissa posted:
Does anyone else have a stubborn toddler. Maybe it's just me. Ben does not eat any fruits or vegetables and I was wondering if anyone else has had this problem and if so do you have any suggestions.
I always say I get my best ideas from other people so please let me know your thoughts.
Thanks!
Melissa
Angel commented:
Tommy will not eat fruits or veggies either, except bananas. I'm taking him to an occupational therapy evaluation this week to see if he has any sensory issues. I'll let you know what I find out. Let me know if you get any other tips.
Angel
Kate commented:
I'll mail you a few packs of what my kids drink to meet their fruit & veggie requirements, see if Ben likes them. It's what my kids drink every day to get all their servings of fruits & veggies.
Christine also has an awesome recipe for brownies that hide spinach in them, she made them for me when James was born. Yum.
Juice Plus is another way to get kids to get their vitamins in. They come
in gummy form and they have veggie ones and fruit ones.
Christine
Holly commented:
I would be so interested in your packets Kate! Also - our November speaker (who does Juice Plus on the side I think) is going to help us with that exact topic!
And here is my reply –
I hope I don't alienate anyone, but I have been chewing on this thread in my mind all day, and feel inclined to voice my opinion. Opinions are like bellybuttons - we all have them! So, no offense intended to anyone who disagrees.
First of all, I think that the concept of children being picky eaters and stubborn about food choices is pretty much universal - across cultures and throughout history. So while there are some kids with genuine sensory or swallowing issues, I believe that the vast majority of picky eaters are normal children displaying a part of normal development.
That said, it's not all about the food. I think that a lot of the stubbornness and willfulness with the 2 to 4 year old crowd is really more about testing to see who is in control and who gets to make what decisions. Sure you can sneak in multivitamins and put spinach in the brownies and carrots in the cake. I do those things too. But to the kids, it's not just about what's to eat, it's about control and it's about learning the difference between things you do because you enjoy them and things you do because they're good for you (or an adults tells you that you have to do.)
In my opinion, I would be careful about setting a precedent that if you don't like something, I'll make it tasty or make it fun for you. Much of life is not pleasant, and some if it is downright unpleasant. The sooner kids learn that life is not one big opportunity to be entertained and everything is not fun/tasty, the better off they'll be as they grow up and face bigger challenges. Much of what adults do, they do because it's good for them, their family or their community, regardless of whether it's fun. (I could digress here on how work becomes fun when you throw yourself into work that you feel passionately about, but that's another conversation.)
A few sayings have played over in my head like a tape recorder.
(1) One was our first pediatrician, an older gentleman with old-school thinking, telling me "Mom, your job is to serve nutritious meals. Your son's job is to eat them. You just worry about your job."
(2) This is something I heard a speaker on Nutrition say at a MOPS meeting: "The parent is in charge of WHAT the child eats, WHEN the child eats, and WHERE the child eats. The child is in charge of WHETHER they eat and how much they eat." To me, this pretty much sums it up. If you present your child with a nutritionally balanced diet, day in and day out, they are going to snub certain things and sometimes you may have to serve a certain food 20 times over several months before they ever even try it. But you won't end up with a child who eats unhealthily if all of the choices are healthy. Additionally, if you serve the meal with a smile on your face and don't worry about what goes uneaten, you remove the element of control. Much of what kids refuse to eat, they refuse simply because they realize that Mom wants them to eat it and/or will put on a great display of emotion or persuasion if said food does not get eaten - so, what better way to control Mom? Better not to make the dinnertable into a battleground to begin with.
(3) This I heard from a speaker on Nutrition at a CECPTA meeting, and my husband and I have laughed about it over the years. "It takes 60 days for a toddler to starve!" Of course we're not starving our kids - but if they snub a meal entirely, that's their prerogative. If they go to bed hungry, so be it. But I only serve one meal and only at the designated mealtime. If you don't like any of it, you don't eat. "I am not a short-order cook." (My kids will quote me on that!) If my child says, "But Mom! I'm staaarving!" I smile and say sweetly, "Don't worry honey, it takes 60 days for a child to starve." A side story - one of my friends came to this particular CECPTA meeting because she was dealing with these very issues with her son. She raised her hand and asked the speaker, "What would you recommend for a child who only eats french fries?" The answer was obvious (but not to my friend): "Stop serving french fries."
(4) And my last favorite saying - this is one that my kids have heard me say so many times, that they tell their friends who visit during mealtime - "You don't have to like it, you just have to eat it!" This is of course a great reference to the fact that eating isn't always about entertainment, it's about giving your body the fuel it needs to be healthy. Nobody said it would always be fun. Putting spinach in the brownies is a great way to get more green stuff down the hatch if it's done in addition to nutritious meals, but be careful about sending the message that you only have to eat stuff that's fun to eat.
Lastly, and this is more about nutrition than parenting, I believe that foods are most nutritive when eaten as close to their original source as possible. Meaning, fresh fruits and veggies are best, followed by frozen, canned, etc, on down the line. But in my mind, the nutritive value of a fruit or vegetable is reduced to a shred of its original value when put into a pill, powder or concentrate, etc. There is no bulk fiber either. Not only that, such items offer false security if parents see them as an alternate to proper dietary intake instead of a supplement. But even as a supplement, I question the need because if you're already eating healthy then you don't need it, and if you're not eating healthy, the supplement is not meant to take the place of healthy food choices. I could go on about this but these two websites really do a good job of dissecting this issue.
From Quackwatch: http://www.quackwatch.org/04ConsumerEducation/QA/juiceplus.html
Juice Plus - A Critical Look: http://www.mlmwatch.org/04C/NSA/juiceplus.html
I hope some may find this helpful, and if you disagree please know that my intention was not to offend. We all make so many choices as parents, they will not always be the same choices, but we all have the best interest of our children at heart.
